I know that my account is slowly dying, probably no one reads these, and I should just talk to my therapist about this, but I need a way to suppress my feelings and I don’t know how. I’ve been sad all the time, thinking about the state of modern society, how everything gets worse the older you are, how unnecessary hard my life is right now, and the nights I stayed up crying when I was little. I know I’m just little but I’ve got a lot on my plate. My mom lost her house so now I live with my grandparents, my parents are fighting over custody, losing almost all of my friends, school, and my “queerness.” I don’t care of that draws any of you away thinking I was just wholesome and joking but I hate my life. It doesn’t help that I like to hide my emotions so I find it hard to tell people about how I’m feeling. Because I’m trans people genuinely find me horrid, disgusting, foul, repulsive, and actively push me away. It doesn’t help that one of my friends said he was attracted to his dog and people still like him. The fact like people prefer an actual zoophile over me makes me want to vomit, scream, sometimes want to kill myself and I don’t know what to do anymore. My life is crumbling in my hands and so far my life has only gone down since birth so I don’t think the laws of nature is gonna turn around any time soon. Sorry that was a lot.
Everyone I know assumes I draw porn
She/her
Seat tester
*funny school name*
Inside of earth’s crust
Joined on 10/1/23
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Comments
do not worry lad. that's just growing up.
society gets progressively worse because of some political stuff you may only quite get a grasp on when you get a tad bit older.
a pro tip that i can give you is to not hide your emotions whatsoever. embracing it and rebeling against it is, in my humble opinion, the best way to sought around it.
I feel you, growing up is quite shite. when i was your age I felt like the same way: like the entire bloody world was against me. It is not quite, people sometimes just won't use their brain and even when they use it, they'll be using it for stupid narcisistic bullshittery.
You said you're trans. I am not. But I've went through some shit for a trans friend of mine. She's a tad bit better nowadays but she's still scarred from the shit she went through. I don't know how it feels to be hated because of what you are but i know that it hurts a lot. For that I cannot suggest anything but to resort to art as a cope mechanism... I am sorry.
Well... I cannot do much but share with you some "magical wisdom" my old ass has gathered from its teen years, but I don't think that'll help you a lot.
so... All I can tell you, lass, is that life is a shit, life is a burden and you'll get stomped on if you don't find a cope mechanism, a rock for your sysiphus to push against the tall mountain.
And do not ask forgiveness, you're real strong for being open about this sorta stuff. Try and talk this off with your therapist, they'll help you way better than an actual stranger will.
anyways...
This has been Meuny.
Thanks
Boccoli
Please don’t worry about me killing myself i don’t want to do it.